TOP DIVORCE MISTAKES THAT YOUNG COUPLE MAKE
As you all know, divorce is the last resort when it comes to marriage problems. Say, you are planning to take up the last resort for the betterment of you and the people around you. Divorce is messy most of the time. Even when it is a mutual process, sometimes, the couples would intentionally or unintentionally commit complex mistakes, which would create chaos and confusion throughout the divorce proceedings. Is a divorce around the corner in your marriage? Here are the top things that you should not do while applying for a divorce.
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Mistake of not providing correct financial information
Sharing your financial fruit would be hard and in some cases unfair. However, according to the divorce proceedings, it is a legal obligation for both the individuals to provide their correct financial information. Starting from every asset or stock investment to even a small amount of cash in a bank account, everything has to be produced in detail. You should also create a budget for your future expenses and requirements. The budget you propose should be realistic. Any fraudulent in this step can be used against you if your better half could prove it in court. It is not hard to believe that finance is the most crucial element of confusion, mistake, and even litigation when it comes to divorce, even consensual divorces.
Mistake of letting emotions hinder your decision
The emotional outbursts usually come up with alimony, child support, visitation right and so on. It is understood that divorce can be a big step and even a confusing road. The most important question would be how to handle life financially and emotionally without your family. Are you confused about how does alimony work in Oklahoma? Talk to a reputed divorce attorney to clear your queries. If emotional trauma is hindering your decision-making skills, it is best to talk to a psychiatrist. Channeling your emotions, especially anger into something productive will allow you to make a clear decision. Many young couples start bickering within a few minutes of negotiation and the divorce proceedings would run for years causing more troubles.
Mistake of not taking kids into account
When you are divorcing, you can be creating a large variation in your kid’s life. Every trauma and emotion you are undergoing would be multiplied several times in the minds of your kids. No matter how old they are or how smart they are, your divorce will tremendously affect your kids. If you were planning for a new baby then you should go for consideration. Talk to them and inform them about your decision and allow them some space and time to deal with it. Just because your kid is more than 18 years of age, it does not make him/her immune to this emotional stress.
Mistake of planning everything at the same time
Even those who do not pre-plan every activity of their life would immediately start to plan their lives for the next 20 years during divorce proceedings. It is true that you need to take into consideration every scenario. This does not mean that you have to do it in just 24 hours. Take it one by one. Talk about a scenario, bring out a solution and then move on to the next one. Do not clutter your mind with every bad scenario.
Mistake of picturing yourself alone and your spouse with a younger partner
Do you know that most of the problems in a divorce proceeding are due to anger? This anger is driven by the thought that your better half will not be affected by the life wasted in the marriage. Most of the couples would imagine each other with a younger partner. Jealousy can cloud your decision-making skills and cause excess trauma. Do you know that if you want to win a divorce fight, you need to be calm and collected?
Mistake of focusing on the past
Just like focusing on an imaginary future, focusing on the past can only cause unwanted issues. It is true that this is much easier said than done. This mistake is usually committed when one partner cheated on the other. Proper counseling or even a short vacation would help you deal with this. Say, she cheated on you. There is no point in bringing it up again and again in every divorce communication. It would cease the progress of your divorce settlements.
Mistake of not thinking about taxes
It might look like a very perfect revenge by getting the condo in the divorce. Have you thought about the property taxes that would accumulate over time? It is not just about property. Young couples often forget that there will be tax implications even on the transfer of money or any long term investment. Talk to a lawyer to learn about the taxes and the ways to handle them.
Mistake of not compensating
It is true that your marriage has gone sour and that is why divorce is on the way. This does not mean that you need to win everything. Try to compensate. This is not just about financial agreement. This mistake usually happens in child custody. One parent will always try to shadow the other and try to get full custody vowing to one single mistake done by the other, many years go. Remember what is good for you and your loved ones in the long run before you submit yourself to revenge.
Mistake of not giving enough time
Most of the couples decide to have a divorce in the morning and would start the argument and financial work by evening. Allow yourself some time. Clear out your mind and ask yourself what you need and how you are planning to handle your life without your better half. Do not jump right into any decision. This will cause unwanted fear.
Mistake of listening to every Tom, Dick, and Harry
It is true that you need to take expert advice from lawyers and emotional advice from your therapist. When it comes to a divorce war, everyone on the street would become experts. Your friends would become more involved in trying to give you thousands of advice in every single scenario. Although their intentions are harmless, the consequences of following those might hit you hard.
Mistake of not discussing face-to-face
Most of the couples tend to talk via their lawyer during divorce. Most of the simple things can be handled without the liaison of your lawyers. Do not alienate yourself from your family. Do you both want the kid for Christmas? You can compensate by taking alternative Christmas. Will this require a long legal discussion? In the same tone, for things that are financially complex or have a long term implication, it is best to talk to your lawyer before accepting anything.
Do you want to have a calm and win-win divorce proceeding? You ought to learn about the local laws regarding marriage, prenup, divorce, and others. Talk to any lawyer to learn about your obligations and rights during such a scenario. If possible, have a group session to learn what is in store for you. According to experts, it is all in the hands of the couple when it comes to dealing with a divorce with lesser fireworks. After all, he/she is someone whom you loved from the bottom of your heart and decided to spend the rest of your life with. Remember it before you try to get a better deal out of this.